When I got home after four wonderful months in Washington I had a difficult time adjusting to being back. Just like the first time I came down here everything was just so different that it was hard to be present and content, like reverse culture shock. The difficulties of this time were compounded by the fact that I wasn't sleeping enough, drinking way too much caffeine, eating way too much sugar and processed food and had no set routine. This combination of doom left me feeling ungrounded, scattered, spacey, hopeless, irritable, whiny and listless. Not exactly me at my finest. Then after some gentle nudges from a couple of my sisters (who both knew exactly what to say, love my sisters!) I realized that I needed to do things that would make me feel grounded, secure, nurtured and fully present.
Rhythm is talked about a great deal in Waldorf circles. My definition is: an expected way of being from day to day with your family. Problem was that our summer vacation rhythm is very different than our school year rhythm and I was not acknowledging that or fostering a shift to a new rhythm for the school year.
If you have known me for any amount of time then you know that I thrive on routine. Isn't routine the same as rhythm? Maybe for some but not for me. To me, routine is a bit more dictatorial. Rhythm is a flowing feeling that moves me throughout the day, honoring the high energy and the low energy that occurs. Routine is rigid (the way I do it) and concrete. It is 24 hours dissected and written down on a paper. Even if I don't follow the set routine I feel more secure knowing that if at any time throughout my day I don't know what comes next all I have to do is look it up. I also feel better knowing that there is time for everything that I need to accomplish in a day. I need this to function properly.
From the Chopra Center: "A ritual is a set of actions, performed mainly for its symbolic value. When you combine the symbolism of the ritual with some sort of meaning . . . the result is transformation." I am a firm believer in the need for rituals in life. They bring meaning and connection. One of the rituals that has been with me the longest is making tea. Many years ago I started making tea in imitation of the English and then it transformed in to herbal tea for medicine or comfort. It is a 'set of actions' that after all these years of preforming it snaps me into the present moment, nurtures me and calms me.
So that was the first step I took in bringing my mind and heart fully present to the fact that I am back in Texas and it is a new season of life. I started making tea. Whenever I felt lost or hopeless I (sometime forced myself to) get up and make a cuppa. Usually a delicious cup of chai with some italian sweet cream coffee creamer, a touch of honey and freshly grated nutmeg. After about the second day of this I already felt clearer and more present. This was my gateway back to myself and my family life in Texas. Stay tuned for more on this.
3 comments:
wow em, I needed that...you talk about being completely out of synch...so many changes, not really with myself, but each affecting me and not really having a routine or a rhythm or probably much of a ritual pattern, my days have been very topsy-turvy--at best!! ( i ashamedly admit to wrestling with sleep for 46 minutes then getting up and making an awful cup of coffee(((Ugghhhh I have never liked the stuff except for delicious morning aroma and a good spot for cookie dunkng, it was an instant cup so no aroma..but fairly good dunking...anyways, 3/4 cup of ucckkk and 8 cookies later..---before 5am,,,yeah..you get the picture...life ios a bit out of control at the present...)))) so..I am happy to see a bit of advice, because in a mere split second of almost guilt, I thought..maybe it's the starch!!!
Well if the coffee before is any indicator...the starch may be a bit on the overloaded side of late also. Not to mention the sleeping habits of rabbitts...or lack of such. Or so clearly a routine...ahhh it only I had a nickle for every time I have tried to establish any semblance of such an honorable ( not to mention necessary ) ingredient in the life of dare I say 40+ years of homing a Stately brood---- I can't wait to hear more, cuz I certainly have a few kinks in the mix that need a bit of polishing...ur uh straightening..as kinks go that is....
and i just saw..49 DAYS????? who set that thing anyway...don't calendars know they are more essential than clocks??? I must remind themmmmm
I was listening to some CDs from a conference as I spent my Saturday in the car in Bellevue. I laughed until I cried in many places, then almost died from choking on water towards the end.
What a dilemma: choke on the water I was inhaling because I couldn't stop laughing, or spew the water all over the front of the car?
Well, since I'm here, you guessed it - I sprayed the inside of the car with water. lol.
One of the things the speaker cracked me up about was, "Oh My God, I have to make a rule about that!" Because we have to have rules, and obviously there is a rule missing here. It makes me laugh to hear someone "out there" say out loud the things that I think only I could possibly be thinking.
The speaker told another story about her teenage son whose long-distance phone calls to his out-of-state,first girlfriend were breaking the bank. Mom finally decided the best strategy was to take all the phones out of the house & put them in the trunk of her car when she went to work every day. (Are you recognizing any of this yet? I recognized me Big Time,lol.) She was horrified to receive a phone call at work, interrupting a morning meeting, from a friend in California who said, "I knew you were at work because your son told me when I just spoke to him on the phone at your house."
The speaker returned to her meeting, and because she was so close to meltdown, she kept her head down, doodling on paper. Afterwards, she noticed her doodles read "Please Help Me."
I share these funny stories with you because my daughter, or work, or life in general... these interfere with my plans for a routine. I bought two beautiful books on rituals and I never get a chance to open them.
I like your "tea" tool. It's an excellent one. Currently, I'm using this tool to help me stay present and flowing, instead of rushing off into the future or back into the past: I ask myself, "Where are my feet?" I look at them, and that reminds me of my new routine of staying in the present.
I shared that with my group last week, and they say it works for them too. Then I remembered that this was the instruction to students learning lucid dreaming: when lost, look at your feet.
I love finding you back here in the blog world - thank you so much! xo
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