I always feel bad after I post one of my angsty posts. I did a quick 7 minute mediation yesterday to Krishna Das before I went to go pick up Son and I had this very clear image float to the top of my consciousness which sort of sums up how I felt yesterday morning. Do you ever watch Shark Week on the Discovery Channel? My sweet Charlie loves it and I have learned more about sharks in the last few years that I ever imagined possible for my lifetime. It turns out that some the most violent sharks are the ones who live out in the middle of the ocean. Its a virtual desert out in the vastness of the ocean and these fellas may only eat once every couple of months. As a part of their survival they have evolved to detect minute signals that a fish in distress gives off, the smells, the the vibrations of them struggling. Once they detect this they beat hell to get there so that they can have something to eat. Yesterday as I meditated I saw myself as that fish, struggling in the vast ocean desert of my emotions. As I flopped about, bleeding out all of my hopes and fears and pain, I was sending out signals to the sharks. Here I am! and the helpful people (that would be you dear readers) that the Universe provides to buoy me in my times of need are faced with the conundrum of helping me but risking being exposed to sharks or saving themselves but worrying about me. The sharks, of course, are the despair that threatens to consume me when I don't own my emotions rather than them owning me. Or maybe I just watch too much shark week..lol. Anyways, the point being I'll try to keep my angst to a minimum here if for no other reason than to keep the sharks at bay.

Today I am not that flopping fish. Today I am regrouping as fast and as hard as I can. I know my plans for summer got sidetracked with the craziness of the move and the weekly doctors appointments. I went back and reread my foundation work and I'm back on course. I do actually feel quite hopeful with regards to Son and feel like if I work the plan and stay present in the moment with him we have a good chance of turning this whole thing around. That includes a great deal of me stepping up, not super-mom but doing better than I have been. Better food, better time management, more fun. I think I can do that.

I did find my camera but not the batteries. I have a pretty good idea where they are though. Today I'm unpacking the office so I'm sure they will surface and I'll have some pictures of our new home for you soon. In the mean time feel free to check out the floor plan, they only have one three bedroom lay out and that's us.

And finally the new hair cut! a good start to a new(ish) me.








Have an excellent Tuesday!! I know I will. *winky*